Sta.sh
"Mama..?"- a little, odd-eyed girl, of 3, at the very most, glanced at her mother. Her eyes were mismatched, one of them light blue, the other pure white. The flickering light of a nearby candle made it change tone, blood red, the pupil slit.
"Yes, dear?"-a long-haired woman called out softly, the silver tresses spilling down her shoulders like fine, soft silk, covering her sturdy figure-"What is it?",- she asked without turning around, continuing her preparations, shoulder lightly rolling.
"Why is my eye like this, mama? Are papa's eyes like this..?"- she asked sweetly in response. The woman stiffened at the phrase , letting out a sharp breath, her voice harsh as she turned to look at her daughter. Her light blue eyes seemed age-old as she harshly responded,-"Not now, dear, we'll talk of it when you're older. Now head to bed, it's an early rise tomorrow for the Gathering".
"....Yes, mother",- said the little girl as she clambered softly at the stairs, her hidden wolf ear pulled back knowing not to mess with Mother when she was in a Mood. She chewed her lip, and shifted into a young silver wolf pup when she was by her bedroom door, out of sight. She knew her Mother would not have approved of the action, but the Wolf was as much part of her as she was of the Wolf. Her Mother was the same as her, she felt deep inside, she HAD to understand, and yet she mused about being dangerous, they weren't Witches, they were Wolves. The little girl sighed, and continued musing, curling up to rest be the fire wih a soft grumble, the end of her fluffy tail covering her nose.
-Two months later-
A little girl sobs, her bony body convulsing on the earth. Here lies dearly beloved………caring mother and skilled………
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It sounds so interesting.~ Despite a few grammatical flaws (upper / lower case letters and a lottttt of commas) it's just perfect, Lis. :3 Great job.
Also, there are a few run-on sentences. The first one, especially, was like a massive dump of visuals. Break it up into smaller sentences, so that the reader has time to digest it.
I like the very specific word choice you put in. It gives the characters personality and the feeling of actually being there. Another form of visuals, in a way.
Something I would advise for the dialogue is for you to think about how someone of that age would speak. Like when the mother says "Yes, dear", it sounds very motherly and gentle. But when the girl responds, the "Um" is not what a little girl would say. Small children blurt out exactly what they think, and don't stop to wonder about the results.
The last thing I want to point out is the shift in tense. You started out in past tense, then in the third paragraph, you switched to present. Then it went back to past, and finally, you ended in the present. The last part might be meant to be in the present, showing that it is where the story actually starts, but before that, you should keep the tense constant.
Okay, I know I sounded really harsh, but this is actually a really great start. Not too many grammar mistakes, which is more than I can say for some others, and I can tell that this novel will continue to capture my attention. Awesome beginning, and I hope you can update soon!
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